Heartbreak sucks, especially when you feel a bit lost navigating life in Singapore during your 30s. Just got out of a relationship and wondering how to press the reset button? You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way.
The SG Healing Journey
Going through a breakup in your 30s often triggers a need to redefine yourself and find new purpose. Many Singaporeans dive into activities, hoping distraction will speed up recovery. Signing up for classes like pickleball or salsa is a common first step, offering structure and a chance to meet people. However, as many discover, true healing often requires more than just keeping busy. It’s a journey that involves processing emotions and rebuilding confidence, often supported by physical outlets recommended by peers.
- Initial steps involve signing up for new activities.
“Just got got cheated on… Signed up for pickleball and salsa. But the healing journey most probably gonna need more than that.”
- Physical activity is often suggested for wellbeing.
“Gym, run, yoga. Pilates: you’d be surprised how weak certain body parts are because we rarely use them LOL Jiayou bro”
- The process takes time and conscious effort beyond just activities.
Hitting Walls in SG
While Singapore offers plenty to do, the healing process can hit roadblocks. Loneliness can creep in, especially if your social circle was tied to your ex. Making new, genuine connections isn’t always easy. Some find it challenging to break into established local friend groups or ‘cliques’. This social hurdle, combined with the internal struggle of getting over hurt, means you often need to push yourself out of your comfort zone to socialise proactively, which can feel daunting when you’re already feeling down.
- Making new friends locally can be tough.
“Singapore has been a challenge for me because I’m alone… I found out that it is really hard to make local friends here since a lot of people here don’t invite you into their clique…”
- Proactive socialising is necessary but difficult.
“…you got to step outside your comfort zone and proactively socialize without someone pushing you to do it so it can be harder but still better than staying at home feeling like shit.”
- Feeling isolated despite being in a busy city is common.
Building Your New Life
So, how do you actually move forward? Focus on rebuilding yourself, brick by brick. Find hobbies that offer genuine fulfilment, especially creative ones where you make something tangible. This provides a sense of control and accomplishment. Keep up the physical activity for mental clarity. Importantly, work on your mindset – remind yourself that the breakup isn’t solely your fault. Connect with supportive people, even if it starts online or through shared interests like tabletop gaming. Explore Singapore with fresh eyes, maybe check out local spots like Sembawang Hot Springs or legendary lamp post 1. Consider a bigger reset like solo travel if needed. It’s about taking small, consistent steps towards your own ‘solo leveling’.
- Engage in creative hobbies for fulfilment.
“Find a hobby where you can make something. Woodworking, pottery, and stuff like that. The aspect of creating things really gives you fulfilment.”
- Niche hobbies can lead to new communities.
“Miniature and painting? Opens you to a new community of DnD and tabletop gamers. Hours of silence to just work on making something you have control over.”
- Focus on mindset and self-compassion.
“Well, you can start by reminding yourself that it’s not your fault. Don’t take her actions personally.”
- Explore your surroundings and seek mutual support.
- Consider bigger changes like travel for perspective.
