Eh, Singaporeans, ever feel like you’re lugging around some invisible baggage? Like that heavy feeling after a long day at work, but it’s always there? You’re not alone. Many of us carry emotional baggage from our upbringing, societal pressures, and the unique Singaporean experience. Let’s unpack this, one layer at a time.
SG Baggage: Common Trends
- High expectations from parents are a common theme.
For me, it’s about the high expectations and strict parenting, leading to my sense of wanting to please anybody and everybody. I’m recovering from it slowly, but surely.
- Many struggle with self-worth due to constant comparisons and pressure to succeed.
Always pressured to do better whilst also being constantly “reminded” that what I did was never good enough.
- Mental health issues were often dismissed, leading to delayed diagnoses and treatment.
It’s no surprise that 60% of Singaporeans report feeling stressed regularly. We’re a nation of high achievers, but at what cost? These experiences shape our relationships, career choices, and overall well-being. It is important to recognise the root causes.
Challenges: Why So Difficult?
- Cultural norms discourage open communication about emotions.
Mine’s more of not being used to having a healthy loving/communicative/supportive family who do things tgt which i see when i meet my friends’ families (?) mostly experienced tough love/anger issues growing up lol
- The fear of disappointing parents or being seen as a failure is strong.
My mom’s a short-tempered perfectionist. I’ve been moulded into instinctively seeking perfection in everything I do. And if I don’t think I can make it perfect, I don’t do it. There’s been so many missed opportunities and adventures because I’ve not dared to take steps.
- There’s often a reluctance to challenge authority figures, especially elders.
Breaking free from these patterns is tough, especially in a society that values conformity and filial piety. This is further complicated by the pressure-cooker environment of Singapore, where competition is fierce from a young age, from PSLE to getting a BTO. It can feel like you’re stuck in a never-ending cycle.
Solutions: Unpacking Your Load
- Seek professional help. Therapy can provide a safe space to process past experiences.
Learnt how to start saying no and putting myself first last couple of years through therapy.
- Practice self-compassion. Acknowledge your struggles and be kind to yourself.
Trying to change that now as an adult by intentionally doing things I wouldn’t have done before. It’s tough to emerge from the comfort zone after all this while, but hey, gotta learn to live my own life.
- Set boundaries with family and friends. It’s okay to say no and prioritize your well-being.
Remember, healing takes time. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. There are many resources available in Singapore, from subsidized counselling to support groups. You are not alone in this journey. Start small, be consistent, and soon you’ll find yourself feeling lighter and more free. Jiayou!
