Ever feel that pang of guilt when your parents ask how much that new gadget or cafe brunch cost? You’re not alone, fellow Singaporeans. Many of us practice the art of the ‘white lie’ to keep the peace (and our wallets) safe from parental judgement. Why do we do it? Let’s dive in, lah!
Spending Habits: The Reality
- Singaporeans often downplay their spending, even when using their own hard-earned money. This is especially true for discretionary items like food, travel, and entertainment.
Was hanging out with my friend few days back and we talked about how we would feel guilty about telling our parents how much we actually spent on certain stuff such as food, holiday or even concert tickets, even though we used our own money!!
- This behavior extends to everyday purchases. For example, even a discounted tub of ice cream might get a price adjustment before sharing the cost with parents.
- Some Singaporeans even apply this to significant purchases, like phones, where the price is significantly reduced when revealed to parents. $1800 becomes $900 to avoid potential scolding.
Bought phone for parents 1.8k, told them 900, still got scolded š
Parental Judgement: The Root Cause
- The core issue lies in the perceived judgment from parents regarding spending habits. This stems from differing values and generational differences in financial perspectives.
- Many feel their parents believe that if they have money to spend on themselves, they should instead be giving that money to their parents. This creates a sense of guilt and the need to justify their spending.
Always. At least by -40% lol. Especially with my mom. I just know what sheās insinuating. Esp. with travelling. Like, āif you have that much money to travel, you give me that money betterā, like I donāt deserve nice things for myself. And Iām a grown ass woman of 42 mind you.
- Even when there’s no expectation of financial support, some parents may still express disapproval, leading to the white lies.
- Some Singaporeans joke about lying to themselves by including credit card rebates in their purchase price.
Please, everyday I lie to myself and include my credit card rebate when buying things.
Honesty & Boundaries: The Solution
- One solution is to simply stop sharing detailed spending information. Instead of lying, provide an estimate or a general range.
i used to do tell a white lie over costs but eventually i stopped sharing or just say an estimate (eg. phone 1.6k, Iāll just say its 1k plus). i no longer see the point of telling them the costs if im paying the things myself
- Another approach is to establish clear boundaries and communicate your financial independence respectfully.
- Frame purchases as smart choices, highlighting discounts or long-term value, if you choose to share.
atas food like better quality cheeses, eggs, vegetablesā i say there was discount and i just wanna try and its especially convincing if its a healthy food.
- Ultimately, the goal is to find a balance between respecting your parents and maintaining your financial autonomy. It’s your money, after all!
