Congrats, you’re expecting! Or maybe you’re already in the thick of it. Being a new parent in Singapore, especially without much help, can feel like trying to navigate Orchard Road during the Great Singapore Sale with a stroller. But don’t worry, we’ve scoured Reddit to bring you the real talk on surviving and thriving during those first few sleep-deprived months.
SG Parenting: Reality Check
- The reality of raising a newborn is often different than expected. Many Singaporean couples are dual-income, without maids or readily available family support.
“We are a typical dual income family with office jobs, no maid, and do not expect much help from our parents as they are working. What did you feel was helpful after giving birth?”
- Online support groups, especially those focused on parents with babies born in the same month and area, can be a lifesaver. These groups provide a sense of community and allow parents to share experiences and tips.
“Support whatsapp group for Mom’s in the same birth month and area was great. Still friends almost 10 years later.”
- Food delivery services catering to confinement diets are popular, easing the burden of meal preparation during the recovery period. Tingkat services for lunch and dinner can also be very useful.
The Challenges: No Help Leh!
- Many new parents feel overwhelmed and alone, especially when dealing with hormonal changes and sleep deprivation. Husbands need to be present and proactive.
“As a husband be present, in all aspects don’t make her feel alone in this.”
- Navigating unsolicited advice and interference from in-laws can be a major source of stress. Prioritizing the new family unit is crucial.
“If the in laws interfere please prioritise the family you’re starting not the family you came from and if the wife says she doesn’t want this that FOLLOW HER.”
- Postpartum depression is a serious concern that can affect mothers even months after giving birth. It’s important to be aware of the signs and seek help when needed. 1 in 10 Singaporean mothers experience postpartum depression.
Winning Strategies: Can or Not?
- Husbands, take initiative! Don’t wait to be told what to do. Observe, anticipate needs, and just help. A simple mantra: “Just do!”
“What you can do, is don’t ask “how can I help?”. Just help!”
- Consider hiring a confinement nanny for at least the first two months, if budget allows. This can provide invaluable support and allow the mother to focus on recovery and bonding with the baby. Alternatively, a weekly cleaning service can significantly reduce the burden of household chores.
“Best decision we made was to get a cleaning service once a week. It helped a lot as we only need to do the basic chores and can leave the bigger ones for the cleaner.”
- Establish clear boundaries with visitors and prioritize the mother’s need for rest and recovery. Remember, no unplanned visitors! Communicate preferences clearly and unapologetically.
“No unplanned visitors – run through mom if she’s willing to receive any visitors, even close family members. I hated having to entertain well wishers while trying to recover from giving birth and going through confinement and feeling gross.”
- Be prepared for breastfeeding, and if bottle-feeding, share the responsibilities. Support each other, communicate openly, and remember that this challenging period is temporary.
