Is your family also a bit… chaotic during CNY? You’re not alone. Singaporeans on Reddit have been sharing some seriously messed up family stories, and it’s not all red packets and pineapple tarts. From inheritance squabbles to outright cruelty, it seems family gatherings can bring out the worst in some people.
Reddit Insights
Here’s what Singaporeans are really saying:
- Money Makes Monkeys: Many disputes revolve around money, especially inheritances. It’s not just about the amount, but the sheer greed and lack of respect that surfaces. One Redditor shared how their dad’s side of the family pocketed most of the funeral donation money.
- Toxic Older Generation: Many Redditors pointed out that older relatives often preach morals and filial piety, but are often the ones causing the most harm. They might expect respect, but don’t give it in return. As one user put it, “Many of these ‘moral lessons’ are preached by people who get an advantage from it.”
- Homophobia and Intolerance: Sadly, some families are deeply intolerant. One user shared a story of their cousin being beaten for being “effeminate”, and how their family didn’t intervene. This highlights the deep-seated homophobia in some Singaporean families.
- Dad’s Side Often the Problem: A recurring theme is that issues often stem from the father’s side of the family. Whether it’s inheritance disputes or mistreatment of the mother, many users shared similar experiences. One user even joked, “Realised the problematic ones is usually the dad’s side.”.
- Cutting Ties for Peace: Many Singaporeans are choosing to distance themselves from toxic family members for their own mental well-being. As one Redditor said, “Being an adult is amazing because I dictate who I spend my time on. Finally feeling at peace now.”
SG Context: What It Means For You
These stories resonate deeply within the Singaporean context where family is often considered paramount. However, there’s a growing recognition that blood ties don’t excuse bad behaviour. With Singapore’s ageing population, inheritance issues might become more common. Also, traditional views on gender and sexuality are being challenged by younger generations. This clash of values can lead to conflicts within families, especially during traditional holidays like CNY.
The desire for peace and mental health is starting to outweigh the pressure to maintain unhealthy family relationships. Many Singaporeans are recognizing that they have a right to protect themselves from toxic family dynamics.
Singaporean Experiences on Reddit
Here’s what some Singaporeans are saying in their own words:
This year I found out during my dad’s funeral almost 20 years ago my dad’s side handled the donation money and left my mother with about 20% of the received sum. They used the money for shit like buying lunch for each other…
Whoisyourbolster
Uncle beat up my cousin cos my cousin talks too effeminately and is interested in dance… Cousin was only 14.
ephemeralcandy
Huge inheritance dispute over grandparents’ property… Saw with my own eyes how some self-professed pious “Christians” are disgusting people deep down.
WanderStarr03
I foresee another fight over my grandmother’s HDB when she passes away. With my dad passing away and me being the “only son’s only son”, I might get a cut but I can BET my aunts trying to pull the rug from under.
Whoisyourbolster
My grandma tried to steal me from my mom fresh from the birthing ward and claimed she’d care for me, but on the condition that my mom nvr visit ever
SatanWithFur
It’s always terrible to see that it’s the a-holes who live happily ever after.
Cuppadingo
Your Practical Action Plan for Singaporeans
What can you do after reading these stories? Here are some practical steps:
- Set Boundaries: It’s okay to limit contact with toxic family members. You don’t have to attend every gathering. Choose your peace.
- Protect Yourself Financially: If you’re dealing with inheritance issues, seek legal advice. Understand your rights and don’t let family members take advantage of you.
- Speak Up: If you witness injustice, don’t be afraid to speak up. As one user did, be the one who stands up for those being mistreated.
- Find Your Tribe: If your family is toxic, focus on building strong relationships with friends and others who support you.
- Prioritize Your Mental Health: Don’t let family drama affect your mental well-being. It’s okay to put yourself first.
Remember, you are not alone. Many Singaporeans are dealing with similar family issues. It’s okay to acknowledge that family relationships can be complex and sometimes, it’s better to protect yourself. Take care of yourself this CNY, and know you have options.