Ever felt like everyone around you is ‘adulting’ perfectly while you’re still figuring out which MRT line to take, let alone your life path? If you’re a young Singaporean adult, especially in your early to mid-twenties, and that question hits home, you’re not alone. Many on Reddit have shared similar sentiments, grappling with feelings of being lost, uncertain about finances, relationships, and careers. It’s a common struggle, often dubbed the ‘quarter-life crisis’, and it’s perfectly normal.
The Quarter-Life Drift
The pressure to ‘have it all figured out’ by a certain age is palpable in Singapore. Young adults often feel overwhelmed, comparing their perceived lack of progress against their peers who seem to effortlessly navigate careers, relationships, and financial independence. This leads to self-doubt, social awkwardness, and the feeling of being a ‘bad decision maker’. Many find themselves in entry-level jobs, sometimes feeling underappreciated, contributing to a sense of stagnation.
“Turing 23 this year, feel lost in life, never dated before, never been in a serious relationship, no friends, working in a small SME now.”
Despite external appearances, this feeling of being adrift is a widespread sentiment. Many Singaporean young adults report feeling this way, regardless of their academic qualifications or current employment. It’s a period marked by questioning one’s purpose and capabilities, often without a clear roadmap for the future.
“Feel like people around my age have it all figured out whether be it finances, relationship and adulting.”
The Comparison Trap
One of the biggest obstacles preventing young Singaporeans from moving forward is the insidious comparison trap. Social media often presents a curated, perfect version of others’ lives, making one feel inadequate. This constant comparison to peers’ milestones – be it a stable job, an HDB flat, or a serious relationship – fuels anxiety and self-doubt. The contradiction between societal expectations of rapid success and the messy reality of personal growth can be crippling.
“‘Feel like people around my age have figured it out’ That’s your problem right there. Stop comparing and stop giving a damn about where your peers are in life.”
Singapore’s high-pressure environment, with its emphasis on academic and career achievements, intensifies this comparison. It creates an unspoken timeline for success that can leave those who don’t fit the mold feeling isolated and behind. However, the truth is, as many Reddit users attest, that age truly doesn’t matter when it comes to figuring things out.
“There are many people out there who haven’t figure things out even in 30s or 40s or 50s. Age doesn’t matter.”
Charting Your Own Course
Feeling lost is normal, but staying stuck isn’t. The key is to take actionable steps, no matter how small. Start by identifying your top priorities in life – be it money, career, relationships, health, or happiness. Rank them, then tackle them one by one. This structured approach helps break down overwhelming goals into manageable tasks.
“I took a step back and asked myself what are my top priorities (money, relationship, career, happiness, health) and ranked them in order of importance, then dived into each of them step by step.”
Next, focus on expanding your social circle and trying new things. Join clubs, pick up hobbies, or even attend group fitness classes at a gym. These are excellent ways to meet new people organically and build confidence. Dare to put yourself out there, even if it feels awkward at first – everyone starts somewhere! Remember, life is a marathon, not a sprint, and every small step counts towards building a more fulfilling life.
“Join some clubs and hobbies bro, i did it and it expanded by social circle. If no choice and u have some money to spare, join a gym with group fitness classes, attend regularly. you will see your friend circle grow”
Lastly, trust yourself. If you’re unsure about decisions, discuss them with someone you trust, like your parents, to help clarify your rationale. Embrace who you are, whether you’re a ‘nerd’ or simply unique. Many find value in different perspectives. Take baby steps, experiment, and know that progress, no matter how slow, is still progress. You’ll get there.
“Just have to take action no matter how small, to experiment by trial and error and take baby steps to improve your current situation. Life is a marathon, not a race.”
